“If I can do it, anyone can!”

Don’t you just hate the people who say that?  You’ll be watching “The Biggest Loser,” and some newly skinny person says, “If I can do it, anyone can!”  Here’s my thought process when I hear that:

“You know what, skinny person?  The fact that you have successfully lost the weight means that you’re nothing like me, because you obviously have always had the ability to lose weight and just never did it, and not all of us have that ability, okay jerk???”

As you can see, I’m a very emotionally mature person.

Here’s the thing, though: I was only half right.  Yes, those people always had the ability to lose weight and just never did it — and they probably could have done it without going on a reality TV show.  But where I was wrong is in thinking they are nothing like me, thinking that I didn’t have that same ability inside of me.

I’m gonna let you in on the dirty little secret that has led to my weight problems my whole life.  If I were on “The Biggest Loser,” this is what Jillian would be trying to beat out of me, to get my Very Touching Moment where she finds out my deep dark secret and fixes me.  You ready for this?

I like food.

Makes for a boring reality show, right?  “BREAKING NEWS: Fat guy likes food!  Film at 11:00!”  But that’s it.  No hidden emotional issues — even my issues with Coach X stemmed from my weight problem, not the other way around.  My parents loved me, I was relatively popular in school, etc.  I just really like the way food tastes, and I have poor impulse control.

Actually, “I have poor impulse control” is a severe understatement when it comes to food.  Remember when I talked about willpower, and how it’s a myth?  I’ve learned over the years that I don’t have willpower, except in small doses.  I would do great for a week or a month.  I’d cut out ice cream and pizza and cake and I’d minimize other stuff that is bad for me.  But I never once believed that I was actually going to cut those things out forever.  Why?  Because I like food, remember?  People will tell you that their bowl of fruit or frozen bananas or whatever is just as good as ice cream, and I respect them for their opinions.  But for me, a frozen banana will never be as good as a bowl of cookie dough ice cream with Magic Shell on top, ya know?

So no, I was never going to stop eating ice cream and pizza and nachos forever.  But it seemed like everyone I saw who was successful at losing weight had decided to cut those things out permanently, which led me to believe that I was just fundamentally different from them and therefore incapable of getting healthy.

Whether I’m actually fundamentally different or not, I don’t know.  But I’ve learned that you don’t have to cut those things out forever to be successful.  You have to have a plan, and your plan has to guarantee that those things will be limited, and your plan can’t be based on willpower.  When Dr. Phil talks about willpower being a myth, his point is that you can’t walk past your temptations every day and expect to withstand them longterm.  If you love M&Ms, don’t keep M&Ms in the house, and when you do treat yourself to some, go buy one small bag at the store and eat it.  That way, once you’re done, the temptation is gone.  You need a system that works for you.

You’ve read about the system that works for me.  The reason that it works is because it is a plan, and it guarantees that the junk I eat will be limited (in this case, limited to Saturdays), and it isn’t based on willpower.  Saying “Not today” for 4-6 days a week isn’t willpower, and it’s not some supernatural ability.  I like food more than anyone I know, and it has generally been somewhere between “kinda hard” and “super easy.”

That’s right: if I can do it, anyone can!  I’m now one of those jerks who says that, but I’m not some anonymous person on TV.  You know me, you trust me, a lot of you have watched me struggle with my weight for nearly 30 years.  And now you are seeing the results of having a system that works.

I’m not saying the Slow-Carb Diet is the right answer for everyone, and I’m not saying it’s the only right answer.  I have no vested interest in getting you to buy Tim Ferriss’s book.  But I do have a vested interest in helping my friends discover the same thing that I have discovered: you can do it.