But there’s one thing I worry about a lot these days.  My daughter is eight years old.  Until two years ago, she was kind of a chunky kid — well, on the chunky side of normal, probably.  Then she got sick, and in three months she lost 20% of her body weight (going from 61 to 49 pounds).  It was scary and frustrating for all of us.  We finally got things figured out, and she got all better, but ever since then she has been skinny.  She recently got back to 60 pounds, but she’s grown several inches since 2011.  She’s gone from the high end of normal to the low end of normal.

When she was sick, we all became kind of obsessed with the scale, because it was our only indication of whether things were getting better or worse.  We’d try to explain to her that the number doesn’t matter, that there is a big range of perfectly acceptable weights, that the only thing that matters is her health, etc.  I think we did a pretty good job, but ever since then, she’s had a little more interest in the scale.

It’s a scary thing for a parent, knowing how many young girls develop eating disorders.  You wish you could implant directly into their brains an understanding of how wonderful and perfect they are, but you just can’t.  You just try your best.

My wife and kids have been my strongest cheerleaders as I’ve worked to become healthy.  I try to present things to them in terms of my health, but the fact is, the scale is my easiest indicator of whether things are getting better or worse.  Almost every Saturday morning, my son and daughter ask me how my weigh-in went, and I tell them how many pounds I lost that week.  They get excited for me, but I am always a little uncomfortable about it.  I don’t want them to think how much you weigh is the most important thing.

So I tell them, “I don’t really care how much I weigh, I am just excited that I am getting healthier so I can be with you kids for a long time.”

I tell them, “The only time it matters how heavy you are is if it is affecting your health.  I used to be super unhealthy because I was so big, and now I’m a lot healthier.”

I tell them, “You’re both perfect the way you are.  You’re healthy and strong and wonderful.”

But still, I worry.  I worry that my kids will be obsessed with the scale.  I worry that they’ll get a little chubby in high school and think they are super unhealthy.  I worry that they will look in the mirror and not see the perfection that I see, but see flaws that just aren’t there.

I said in the title that this post was about how to lose weight without breaking your kids, but really it’s just a public expression of a desperate hope that I can actually do that.